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Steve Taubman Shares the Hidden Psychology of Success in Network Marketing
Welcome to the Street Smart Wealth Podcast, show #77.
Today’s show is exciting because I am interviewing Dr. Steve Taubman, a coach and hypnotist and we are going to get into some fascinating stuff about mindset.
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Now, I have a funny story about Steve, as I mentioned he is a hypnotist. We’ve known each other…
We’ve known each other online for years!
Finally met for real at ANMP 2012
Volunteered to being hypnotized, and he told me it probably wouldn’t work, and he was right!
He’s gained success as a physician, entertainer, trainer, and author of the #1 Amazon.com self-help bestseller, UnHypnosis, in which he teaches individuals to reinvent their lives.
In 1982, Steve graduated valedictorian from New York Chiropractic College and ran a successful practice in Vermont while building a strong network marketing business with nutritional products.
From chiropractor to magician to hypnotist, Steve has a colorful background. Steve’s passion for network marketers and sales professionals, and their emphasis on personal growth, inspired him to develop the powerful presentations he now brings to progressive organizations worldwide.
I’m thrilled to welcome Steve to the show and I’ll let him tell you the rest….
“Whatever you can do or think you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” Goethe
Complete Show Transcript Below
Take Steve’s assessment over at SteveTaubman.com
Think of how you can deal with any negative or unsupportive people in your life.
How can you begin to come from a place of feeling joyful about your business, what you offer and being okay with another’s involvement or non involvement in it?
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Interview with Steve Taubman
Jackie: So Steve, thanks so much for taking some time to be here with me and with our listeners and share some of your great experiences, the fun things that you’ve done in your career and your knowledge and expertise that you really bring to the table.
Steve: Well thank you Jackie, it’s such a pleasure to be here and I’m really excited about this call.
Jackie: Well, I’m excited about it as well. So I’ve shared a little bit of your background but tell us a little bit more about you and how you started on your journey in your career path and some of the twists and turns along the way, it sounds so fascinating.
Steve: Well thanks, yeah, it’s been kind of an interesting journey along the way. As you know I was a chiropractic physician and had a very successful practice here in Vermont for many years, specializing in sports medicine. I did a lot of work in the area of sports psychology as part of my practice, so I was working with athletes and helping them to win and part of that involved not only helping them to get healthy physically but also be healthy in the mind and to speed up their healing and just to have the mindset of success.
So, that was already kind of built into a lot of the work I was doing and it was something I said I was successful at but I was gradually getting to a place in my life where I recognized that there was something more. I think we all sometimes hit that point where we say I know there’s more to my life, I just don’t know what it is. So, there were a number of years where I kind of went back and forth between whether to continue in my practice or whether to take on a new journey, a new challenge.
I actually spent some time, about halfway through my chiropractic years co-creating a seminar, a workshop that we, we being myself and at the time, my girlfriend who was a trainer and a coach, doing a program called How To Be Honest Without Alienating Everyone You Know, which was a lot of fun. We were teaching people about assertion and about how to speak up for themselves and it was a great program and it kind of took me slightly out of my practice but I kind of rerouted in. And then a few years later I decided the time came, it was very obvious when the time was right, to move out of that.
At that point in my life, I was also starting to dabble in magic. I was doing magic shows, first for restaurants and cocktail parties and then for fairly major corporate events. So, I had a second life going on at the same time. So, I knew that if I left my practice I’d be okay. I’d have something else I could fall back on but I did take some time before I applied myself fully to that. I got out of my practice and I traveled for a year, did a lot of self reflection, a lot of work in what we’ll be talking about later, which I call mindfulness, and really deciding what was, you know, what was the essence of who I was. What was it that I was put on this planet to do.
When I came back from that journey, I began to create a series of offerings that included entertainment in the form of magic and hypnosis and also began to do some teaching, coaching, writing, on the topic of reinventing your life and about how to get out of your own way mentally and spiritually. I ended up writing a book that became a number 1 bestseller on amazon.com called On Hypnosis, which the subtitle is How To Wake Up, Start Over And Create The Life You Were Meant To Live.
So, that’s kind of it in a nutshell, that’s how I got to where I am now. I ended up reacquainting myself with the network marketing industry along the way because I had some success in that area even back in my chiropractic days and had a great love for the field, had a great love for people in network marketing, direct selling. I liked the fact that they were personal growth people.
They wanted to learn more about how to live a happy and rewarding life on their own terms and so I started noticing how what I was teaching and what I was learning for myself was such an important part of what makes somebody successful in network marketing and I felt like it was a match made in heaven. So, I started becoming known in the industry as somebody who teaches people how to get out of their own way and be successful.
Jackie: Well, tell us a little bit, because my crowd is largely network marketers, and because of your success already as a chiropractor, sometimes we have a chicken list and that kind of thing and often times chiropractors fall on that. So, I’d love to know how you were first exposed to network marketing, was it a client of yours or a friend? Tell us a little about that and then we’ll keep going down.
Steve: Oh yeah, yeah, that’s a great question. Well, yes, definitely it was a patient of mine who introduced me, at the time to a line of nutritional products that we ended up putting in our practice, both to our success and also to the health of our patients, so, it was a useful thing. I would definitely say to anybody listening to this call, take the chiropractors off your chicken list and put them on your must talk to list, because chiropractors I think and network marketers have a lot in common. We do, we’re somewhat mavericks. We like to do things a little bit on our own. We’re not the mainstream, kind of this is the only way it is sort of people and we like learning about new things. So, I would definitely very much suggest that you do approach your professionals and talk to them. It’s always better, I think, to bring an idea like this to somebody who’s already got some success because they understand what success is.
Jackie: Great, great insight. Did your patient leave with the product or the opportunity or both?
Steve: Well that goes back a ways, I don’t remember. I wish I could tell you.
Jackie:Okay, that’s fair enough, that’s fair enough. Very good. Okay, so then, tell us what, where did magic fit into your equation with it? Is it something you were fascinated with as a kid and how did hypnosis kind of play in that, it’s kind of fascinating how you put those together.
Steve: Well, I’m going to give it to you two different ways. I’m going to tell you what I thought while it was going on and then I’ll tell you what I now believe to be the truth. Why did I start doing it? Well, at the time I started doing magic because I usually tell people I’d just gotten out of a relationship and I needed something to do with my hands.
Jackie: Okay now.
Steve: So, but yeah, a hobby, a, what do you call it, a diversion, something to play with. I think as a child I did have some fascination with magic but I didn’t start really doing it and learning magic until I was well into my adulthood. I was in my 30’s when I started doing magic. So, that was, it was fun because it absorbed me and then it also gave me a different outlet, a different way to be creative. Hypnosis is similar. Hypnosis, I had an exposure to hypnosis from my practice, from a clinical standpoint but I also had an opportunity later on to see stage hypnotists at work, to see what happens on the stage when people are hypnotized and it defied belief.
I totally was a disbeliever until I saw it and began to study it. So, the two areas that I ended up going into at the time that I went into them, it was just kind of a fascination or a hobby or a diversion and in fact, the way that I left my practice, I couldn’t really tell you at the time why it was so clear to me that I needed to leave. I could have told you, I’m annoyed by the health insurance companies and I’m having some issues with some of my staff members that are not doing what I want them to do.
There were things that made me feel irked about being there that at the time, propelled me out of practice but now looking at it from hindsight 20/20 here in the future, as I look back over my life, I think that it was guidance. I think that at some level, at some deep level, I knew that for me to make the contribution that I needed to make in the world, for me to reach out and help people I had to be truer to myself. Being out on the road and speaking and entertaining, it was something that was so natural to me and something that I discovered has its own healing properties. When you make people laugh, you’re healing them.
When you just shift their conscience and make people feel good, just bring a smile to someone’s face or just being there to listen to them and be really present, you make them feel good. That, in itself is a huge lesson for anybody who’s in the public eye. How do I make people feel good? How do I make the experience of being around me more fun? So, that became my goal in life was to bring a, an element of joy, of fun, of possibility and help people realize their own possibility.
What is it that you can do in the world and what’s stopping you, what’s in the way? Luckily, what I had learned up to that point about hypnosis in particular, taught me a lot about what gets in peoples way. Why people don’t succeed when they have everything they possibly could want or need to be successful. Does that make sense?
Jackie: Well that is fascinating and I have to say, I met you last year live and been aware of you for a long time. We’ve interacted online and such but met you live and in person in 2013 at the Association of Network Marketing Professionals event and I saw you in action and it was, it was mind blowing and it is kind of one of those things where it, for me, it opened my mind up to a lot of possibilities.
It was fun and entertaining. It was interesting, that was late in the evening, it was interesting how much longer people stayed up and laughed and had a great time and talked about it. I know that it put all of us in a different state whether we were being hypnotized or not. It was quite fascinating, so I love the, I love what I learned from that experience.
Steve: Thanks, you really bring up a great point about the shift in the energy of the room. I just did another big network marketing organization recently, I was there and I did a hypnosis show in the evening and the show ended I think at 10 p.m. and most people were in the room until 12:30 a.m. just walking around talking to each other, mostly about the show and about, what it means to be hypnotized and I had lots of amazing conversation but it was really the energy in the room that changed.
That’s contagious, that’s something that, as network marketers, we can all become more energetic and more alive and we can create that kind of buzz and, you know what I mean. You know that the people who are successful, they create a buzz.
Jackie: Yes and they manage it, they learn to manage their energy.
Steve: Exactly, exactly. So, the idea that hypnosis in that environment, on the stage, among lots of people who are there to have a good time, the idea that that can be something more is what really fascinates me. The idea that, not only does hypnosis have the capacity to entertain us and you know, create awe and just amazement, but what it shows us, when I’ve got somebody on stage and I’ve hypnotized them into believing for example, that they are stuck to their chair and they can’t move and no matter how much effort they put into it, they cannot get out of that chair.
That’s a pretty amazing thing to think about because nothing will motivate them out of that chair as long as they’ve got the hypnotic program that tells them they’re stuck to the chair. In other words, what you believe is what you achieve. We’ve all heard that but in hypnosis you see it in action. So, if somebody believes themselves to be incapable of getting up then they are in fact, incapable of getting up. What’s interesting about that, I think really fascinating, is that you can offer that person $1,000, you could hand them, you could say look, I’ve got $1,000 in my hand, I’ll give it to you if you get out of that chair and they won’t get out of the chair.
I’ve seen that happen again and again. Now, what does that mean in terms of network marketing? What does it mean in terms of your team, if you happen to be leading a team and what about leading yourself? Well, what it means is that moneys not going to motivate you if you are hypnotized to be stuck to your chair.
If there are all these things that are necessary to be successful in your business, for example, the willingness to introduce yourself to somebody on the street, the ability to pick up the phone and follow up, have a phone call and invite somebody perhaps to a party or to invite somebody to listen to a presentation online, the willingness to call and follow up with their feedback and the ability to talk to your down line as a leader, as an empowering person.
All of those things require not only the knowledge of how to do them, but they require the openness, the sense of possibility, the sense that this is safe, I can do it, it’s okay. All of those things are what makes you successful in the business. So, and we know it, you know, everybody knows. I know that if I do x, y, and z, I will lead myself towards success but, how many of them actually do it? Jackie, you probably know the statistics, it’s pretty harrowing isn’t it?
Jackie: It is.
Steve: It’s unbelievable and if you, I as a leader look at my down line and I think how many, what percentage of these people are actually working the business? If I’ve got 10 percent doing it, I’m feeling pretty good. It’s really that bad, 90 percent of the people never work the business and so there’s a reason for that. The reason really comes down to the fact that everyone of us, each and every one of us, from early in childhood, have been systematically programmed in certain ways.
Now, some of us are lucky, probably about 10 percent of us are lucky, probably the same 10 percent that we just talked about, are lucky to have been born into a family where we were taught things like, it’s okay to have money, it’s okay to share your opportunity with other people, you’re a great person, everyone is going to enjoy hearing from you, you’re a good contribution to others, it’s worth exploring new things, risk is okay, all those kinds of messages. Ten percent of us got those growing up, 90 percent of us didn’t.
Now, 2 percent of us get it in some traumatic and sudden way from a life altering experience, like a near death experience. Something profound and dramatic happens in our lives and all of a sudden, we think differently about our lives and as a result, we might be willing to take risks that we never would have taken before. We might be willing to share ourselves in new ways. So, now we’re up to 12 percent. The other 88 percent of us, that’s most of us, we need to reprogram our minds.
Our minds have been programmed improperly and it’s stopping us in the same way that I hypnotized somebody to be stuck to their chair, each and every one of us have been hypnotized in some way to be stuck somewhere. I used a metaphor of being stuck behind an invisible wall. I have a routine I do in my show where people get stuck behind an invisible wall and as long as you believe the wall to be there, you can’t get out. So, what I do and what we’ve begun to create in our work is a series of systems to essentially un-hypnotize people.
That’s why my book is called Un-hypnosis, to wake people up, so that they can get outside of the programming that’s been stopping them all these years and it’s a very dramatic thing. You can see, you saw it on stage where I used a similar process to help people get rid of fears or phobias. I think in the show you saw, I might have had a woman who was fairly shy, get up and give a key note speech impromptu.
Jackie: You did, you did.
Steve: I think she did it very well too.
Steve: That brings up an interesting point too, because I’m coaching somebody right now who’s, he’s taking a lot of my advice and working his business and he is starting to see some traction and then he says I heard about a new book, I heard about a new teacher or new guru, I ought to go out and maybe I should read that book or do this or do that. There’s nothing wrong with learning, I think learning is a lifelong process and we should all be continuing to do it but we also need to be suspect of the fact that one of the tricks that our own egos, our own mental state plays on us, is having us believe that we just don’t know enough.
I’d be successful in this business if I knew a little more, so, we, I’m going to hold off on making those phone calls until I read one more book about how to be a network marketer or talk to one more expert about how to do it and that’s a form of avoidance. So, we sometimes need to say, okay, I know what I need to know, now I need to be willing to do it and if I’m not doing it, why am I not doing it? What’s stopping me? What is it going to take for me to go from feeling frustrated and kind of stuck inside of myself and afraid or disappointed or apathetic?
What is it going to take for me to go from there to going out and eagerly sharing my experience and experiencing the feeling of joy in doing it and ending up being magnetic so that people are drawn to me. There’s something that happens, there’s a shift that happens inside of our heads and only inside of our heads and when that shift happens, we become empowered, we start to get results.
Jackie: That’s such a great point and I’m so glad you said that and I hope that our listeners are really getting that, that you can delay too long learning or getting ready to get ready and learning and learning and thinking that you don’t know enough. It kind of leads me to one of the questions that I want to ask you, which I think leads into the conversation about Un-hypnosis.
I know I have experienced this first hand myself and I’ve observed it over and over in with hundreds and thousands of those involved in network marketing and direct sales, and that is, we attend trainings like you said, we read the books. We attend events and so on, but the often, a person never moves past learning and into action and it’s not lack of passion, it’s not lack of hoping or desire, so, why is that was my question? I think you’re getting into that with the whole un-hypnosis concept.
Steve: Yeah, I’m glad you asked that because now, we start to look at that. Now, I think the first step, I think it was Gergi who said the first step to getting out of prison is knowing you’re in prison. It’s like first you have to be aware that you’re creating your own prison. So, I think the first step is for us to at least stop and take a beat and say wow, that’s me, I’m exactly that person. I’m the person getting ready to get ready. I’m the person whose making excuses that there’s not enough opportunity in my community or that it’s a bad time financially and the economics of the world are bad or whatever. Now, I’m going to say whoa, that’s all not true, it’s all coming from me. Okay, so if I’m willing to admit it’s coming from me, that’s step one, willing to admit it.
Step two is beginning the process of reprogramming your mind to be a mind that takes action and when we created the Un-hypnosis for direct sellers and network marketer program, we did it specifically to accomplish two things and one of them was to help people to remove those negative beliefs. So, like we do on stage, it’s a hypnotic process. We basically put you in a very relaxed state, and in that relaxed state, we’re having you become aware of the things that are stopping you.
You’re becoming aware of your negative beliefs and you are using a particular process, what’s called an NLP process to remove those beliefs, literally like, almost clean your system out, like cleaning off your hard drive. So, now, you’re starting from a neutral place. Now, you’re starting from a place where your mind is quieter, which is a great place to start. A quiet mind is very important, then we start to create a new set of beliefs.
I think you’re familiar with Jackie, I think the direct seller’s audio program is designed to first remove negative beliefs and then what we did, we took a dozen of the top network marketers in the world and we asked them “What are your most important beliefs, thoughts, attitudes that drive you to success and if you could download your brain into the brains of your down line, of the people that are in your team, what would those beliefs be?”
So, we scripted this program based on the beliefs of some of the top earners in the industry and then used hypnotic process where people just sit and they listen to this audio program. It just gives them those positive messages, while they’re in a receptive state. Does that make sense?
Jackie:[Inaudible 00:21:46] that was another thing that I wanted to ask you about was self-talk and the programming that we run through our mind.
Steve:Right. So, here’s an important thing to understand. Many people who are in the network marketing industry are familiar with Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill, a lot of the self help work that’s available to us, Maxwell Maltz’ Psycho-cybernetics and a lot of the wonderful, wonderful books that are essentially saying the same thing. They’re saying, “What you’re saying to yourself matters.”
What’s going on inside of your head and the words that you’re saying to yourself are creating a reality and the reality they’re creating is driving you towards your success or your failure. In Think and Grow Rich, and many of the spinoff works, they talk about something they call affirmations. Many of us have, over the years, taught people how to do affirmations. An affirmation is basically positive self-talk. You say, “I believe in myself, I’m a good person. I’m strong, I’m kind, I’m successful.” Whatever it is, you say it to yourself over and over and over again, thousands of times.
The idea being, that if you repeat it often enough, eventually, it’s going to get through the shell around your subconscious mind. Your conscious mind is like a guard. It’s keeping guard on your subconscious, not letting new thoughts in. So, you’ve got to get past that in order to implant those positive beliefs but the problem with that is, it’s unwieldy. It takes a long time. Thousands of repetition and it’s conditioning. You’re trying to recondition your mind. So, it doesn’t have the same impact, and I know a lot of us do it. I’ve done it through network marketing companies.
I’ve taught it to other people but it doesn’t have the same impact as the un-hypnotic process because when you’re saying it to yourself over and over and over again, every time you say it, you might notice this, every time you say a positive thing to yourself, whatever your current belief is, yells in response. “I’m a great person.” “No, you’re not.” “I’m a great person.” “No, you’re not.” “I’m a great person.” “No, you’re not.” And over time, eventually, maybe you wear down the “No, I’m not.” But again, it’s unwieldy because you’re challenging yourself, you’re trying to re-condition yourself.
What this process does that’s different is that it puts your conscious mind into a very relaxed, very unguarded state, so that when you say the same words, or when those same words are said to you, they go in. That may seem implausible but if you think about it, when you were five years old and something happened to you, it went in. It went right in because you weren’t challenging it. So, the big challenge that we all have, is not just what do we say to ourselves consciously but what are we saying to ourselves subconsciously and that’s why the most effective way to reprogram your mind is by speaking to the subconscious mind.
That’s what this process does, it gives you a new set of beliefs, while you’re not trying to fight to keep your old beliefs. Over a short period of time, what the problem that we’re now running the Un-hypnosis for the direct seller CD, we have people listen to it for 21 consecutive days. I’ve got to tell you, I’ve got hundreds of letters here from people who have had these very remarkable experiences from doing that, not just that they’re more motivated but they seem to be more magnetic. They’re just lighter-hearted, they listen better, they seem more joyful, they have more fun going out and doing it and lo and behold, people want to hear what they have to say. They also develop something called faith mind, which essentially means that, and you and I talked about this a little bit earlier, we didn’t script this conversation Jackie, right? We didn’t sit down and say we’re going to talk about this, and this and this.
We said, we’re going to talk about this general subject matter and the rest it’s going to invent itself. It’s going to create itself. Why? Because you and I have both faith mind, we both have a sense of confidence in our ability to think the right thoughts at the right time, to say the right things at the right time and that’s a quality that successful people have. They’ve developed it from starting with the right beliefs and then having the right habits and taking action as you, you mentioned procrastination.
Once those beliefs are aligned properly, there’s a lot less resistance in taking action and then a lot of the procrastination dissolves. There’s a whole other topic of procrastination that we can talk about later but that’s kind of the gist of it. Does that answer any of your questions?
Jackie:Yes, it does. It absolutely does. It’s brilliant and it brings up a question that I had, which is, self-talk and thoughts become things and how you believe but what rule does feeling, like the way you actually physically feel planned and is part of the CD set and the listening, getting yourself into a more receptive, relaxed state which changes, that’s what I’m thinking. It changes your feeling process, if that makes any sense.
Steve:It makes a 100 percent sense. In fact, it’s a topic that I love talking about because here’s what really happens. If you want to like, if you were to be, I teach people how to meditate and other kinds of mindfulness practices in order to be more self-aware. What we’ve discovered is that self-awareness is proportional to success. The more self-aware you are, the more successful you are. When I say self-aware, when you have an emotion, when you have a thought, there’s a part of you watching you have the emotion, watching you have the thought.
That isn’t the emotion, that isn’t the thought. It’s a presence, an awareness and that presence and awareness is what guides you in and out of different states. So, if something happens and you always get aggravated by it, or you always get afraid of it, and it’s running you, there’s no awareness, it’s just, you are it. I don’t know if I’m saying this in a way that makes sense but self-awareness is being able to step back from your own stuff and have a neutral place to stand inside of yourself. So, now, here’s what happens, we have a thought that maybe something is dangerous or I’m going to embarrass myself, or I’m going to make a fool of myself, or I’m going to make a nuisance of myself. This is may be what we think before we decide to pick up the phone, or maybe walk up to somebody at Starbuck’s and immediately, we have an emotion. So, as we grasp that feeling, we have a feeling and what we then do typically, this is all of us as human beings.
What we do is experience a feeling and that feeling reinforces the thoughts that generated the feeling in the first place. So, we create a cycle. I have a thought that makes me feel a certain way and once I feel that way, all I could do is think the same kinds of thoughts, which continue to deepen my bad feelings and it goes round and round and round. We don’t seem to get any peace or any distance from it. That resonates, does that make sense to you, Jackie?
Jackie:Yes, it absolutely does.
Steve:Okay. So, that’s where feelings come from. Feelings come from thoughts that may or may not be conscious to us but we’re, they often happen too quickly that we may not know that we had a thought before the feeling but here we are, feeling afraid. This is where the mindfulness training becomes very valuable because if you’re having a feeling and that feeling is limiting your choices in life, “I’m angry, so all I can do is yell.” “I’m afraid, so all I could do is run away.” If you’ve got feelings that are limiting your choices in life, you only have a few things that you can do with that feeling. This is what we learned growing up.
We learned that if I’ve got a feeling, I can either express it, that’s why you have people who feel like they’ve got to yell, and scream and start arguments all the time, because they feel they’re entitled to express their feelings because that’s healthy. It’s catharsis. “I’ve got to get it out of my system. I’ve got to say it all.” So, that’s one thing that we learn what to do with our feeling, to express them. Another thing that some of us have to do with our feelings is we repress them. “Oh, I better not say that, I better not feel that.” So, we try to shove it back down again into our soul, and we become like a ticking time bomb.
So, those are the two extremes that most of us have learned in our lives to be, as far as dealing with emotions. Most of us have never learned that there’s another way of dealing with emotions. The third way of dealing with emotions is to be with them, to study them, to experience them and there’s a way of doing that that’s extremely, extremely powerful. So, if I feel fear, let’s just take fear as an example because fear is a big one I think, in our industry. If I feel fear, my first inclination is to think about why I’m afraid and to continue that loop I just talked about and then get more afraid or just say, “The heck with it.
I’m just going to leave and not do anything.” But instead what I’ll do is I’ll sit quietly for a few moments, I’ll take a few deep breaths and I’ll study the fear. I’ll bring my attention, my awareness, my mindfulness into the fear. What does fear feel like in my body? If I were to think, if I were to take away all the thoughts associated with this feeling. If I were to take away all the reasons I think I’m feeling it right now, if I were to imagine that this feeling I’m having in my body right now is just, it just got there by itself, or maybe somebody injected it into me. It’s not because I’m about to do something or it’s not because somebody irritated me, it’s just there.
I’m just, here’s the feeling, here’s me, all by ourselves, in a vacuum and here I am, looking at this feeling. That experience of looking at the feeling, I wonder where fear resides in my body. “Oh, I’m feeling a little tightness in my stomach.” “Oh, my throat is clamping up a little bit.” “Oh, I can feel my forehead sweating a little bit.” “Oh, how interesting.” Become like scientists. Take a few moments and allow yourself to just kind of go inside of yourself and root around in where this feeling is. What is the feeling feel like in terms of sensation in your body?
Now, what you’ll find as you do this, and the better you get at it, is that the feeling will begin to dissolve. It will start to shift, change and dissolve and the reason for that is because you’re not reinforcing it with thought. You’re getting what I say is “Getting out of your head and getting into your body”. So, if you get out of your head and go into the feeling as it manifests physically inside of you, just breathe in to it, just be softened to it. Eventually, it’s going to start to dissipate because you’re not throwing more logs on the fire and it will burn out. That is how we deal with feelings, as opposed to thoughts.
Jackie:Well, I like it. I loved it when you said like being able to step away from yourself and observe because I know, a couple of things that I’ve worked through over the course of 20 years in this whole process myself is like you said, becoming aware. I’ve worked on becoming aware of my self-talk and there’s a really simple practice of putting, my daughter, who was really young at that time, had little colorful beaded hair bands to pull her hair back into a pony tail and I would wear that on my wrist because it looked like a bracelet so people wouldn’t know I’m using it.
Every time I would catch myself thinking negatively, I would snap it on my wrist. So, it creates a break in the pattern of it and I heard once, by the time you get to the point of speaking a negativity out loud, you run it through your brain over 300 times and that was kind of fascinating.
Steve:That’s probably true. The negativity is kind of based on the ground of our being. It’s like who I really think I am, and then that’s what ends up coming out of your mouth.
Steve:What I love about the, yes, go ahead.
Jackie:Oh, I was just going to finish on that and then learning, kind of like what you said, to step outside, to look at whatever’s going on. I even used to kind of hold out my hand and put the little feeling in my hand, like Jiminy the Cricket kind of a thing, imaginary and kind of talked to it and then just do some deep breathing. That was amazing, like you said, “The fear would dissipate, the negativity would dissipate” and I would realize “I’m okay right now. Everything is good, so very powerful.
Steve:Very much and yes, and with what you just did, with what you just described, those are, that process is like an NLP, a neuro-linguistics programming process, where you put it in your hand and you look at it. You’re basically, every, O language is a metaphor. Everything you say to yourself is a representation of something else.
Your words are a representation of a concept or a picture, or an image, or a thought or a feeling. So, when you reach out and hold it in your hand and you look at it and you talk to it, you really are creating a new experience. You really are. I do that and it goes to show, I don’t remember if I did it at the ANP but I think I might have, where I cured the fear of snakes and…
Jackie:Yes you did.
Steve:I did? Okay. So, and I’ve done this, in that case, I think I had to bring a rubber snake with me because I didn’t have anybody around with a live one but I’ve done it on stage with live snakes, where I’ll have somebody, I’ll ask if anybody was afraid of snakes and of course, most people are. Then I’ll bring a snake up on stage just to be sure and everyone runs away. We put the snake away for a while and I do this process, just like we’re talking about, where you envision, first you envision the snake and you feel the fear. Then you envision the feeling as if it is an entity inside of you.
You imagine making it smaller and smaller until it fits in your hand and you look at it in your hand and then you throw it away. In that process, that I just described, as we go through it in a hypnotic state, is so powerful and so profound that when somebody wakes up from that experience, and you bring a snake up on stage, they’re not afraid anymore. We’ve had people hold the snake or even kiss the snake after that brief experience. Now, imagine that your snake is the phone. It’s picking up the phone or your snake is approaching people at Starbuck’s. This process is very, very powerful and it works quickly and it lasts. Most of us, it’s like, it’s the missing puzzle piece for most people success, is just getting their head right on their own emotions, on their own sense of what they can or cannot do. It’s that missing puzzle piece but they’re reaching into the wrong box.
They’re reaching into another box of puzzle pieces that have things like, “Oh, maybe I need to learn one more approach, or maybe I need to learn one more way to leave a message, or maybe I need to know… There’s a thousand things, right? That’s all well and good but the piece that’s missing is in this other box and it’s sitting there, all by itself and it’s time that you took it out and put it back in the puzzle.
Jackie:Is that what you mean, you have two terms that I like. One is mindset management and one is mindfulness, is that kind of how those play in?
Steve:Yeah. So, what we find is that most people they take on a job, they take something they want to do, like be a network marketing success and they learn all the how-to and that’s all surface stuff but what they neglect is that mindset management piece, which is what I mean about the missing puzzle piece. So, they could be like top heavy with knowledge. They can know everything there is to know about how to be successful and still be a failure because the mindset piece is what actually gets them in action and keeps them in action.
So, we need to put that puzzle piece in place. Now, when I say mindfulness, as opposed to mindset piece management, what I’m talking about is that quality of mind that includes self-awareness and acceptance. So, we need both. We need to be able to be aware of what are, what’s churning away in our brains. What are our habits? What are our patterns? What are the things that happen every single time? Every time I see somebody who does this, I do that. These are our automatic addictive behaviors and those are there for all of us. We all have them.
We’ve all been growing up with these programmed responses but mindfulness allows us to step back and see them. Mindfulness has to be you not just seeing it but also having a level of acceptance. You can’t be the kind of person who wants to be a calm, peaceful person but you happen to have anger inside and then every time that you notice that you’re angry, you get mad at yourself for being angry. All you’re doing is adding another layer, being angry with your anger, or being afraid of your fear. So, that’s why it’s so important to understand what self-acceptance is. So, there’s a process.
That’s what you need to learn how to do. It’s how to go from these automatic behaviors to a level of seeing that you’re doing that, then to a level of being able to accept yourself and change it without beating yourself up. So, it’s a joyful process, when you do it right and my ultimate goal is that the people that I work with and the people that I train or coach, the people using my materials, they feel better about themselves and so, that’s the ground of being from which they’re making more money.
They’re not doing it because they’re manipulating people as we both know sometimes people do but they’re doing it from a place of, I feel good about myself and I feel like sharing what I’ve got and I’m not afraid of rejection, so, it’s going to work, not with everybody but it’s going to work in general.
Jackie: Once we get to that place, is that how we stay, like what I call in the zone? Once we start experience those successes and we shift that, is that how it helps us stay there?
Steve: Well, I’ll tell you what, if you and I scripted this, it couldn’t have been any better.
Jackie: Oh good.
Steve:Your questions are wonderful and yeah, exactly, so a lot of people have heard that terminology. I’m in the zone, what does that mean? It means I’m firing on all cylinders, I just, I know what to do and I need to do it. I don’t have to think about it twice. I just, I’ve got this thing going on, an in the zone feeling is exactly what we’re trying to help people achieve, so, that they know what to do, when to do it, they feel good about themselves, they’re laughing, they’re making other people feel comfortable instead of uncomfortable.
You know how sometimes people feel a little squirrely around network marketers? Because they, themselves aren’t comfortable in their own skin. We can get rid of that. We can get rid of that squirreliness and then have you feel very comfortable. So, I talk to people who are very successful, who have an entirely different attitude. They’re like, “Hey I’m going to share this thing with these people and if they don’t like, hey, what the heck.” I guess one day they will be smarter and then they will but there’s a kind of a lightheartedness that goes along with people who are successful in this business and that, and you could all have it. We could all gain that.
Jackie: Yeah and I think you bring up some words that I think are so important and that’s enjoying, enjoy, having fun in your business. I know for me, for years I used to, when I was struggling back in the day, I always hear people say, “Oh just enjoy the journey, enjoy the journey,” and I would just laugh and think that is really the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ll enjoy the journey when I’m successful and when I have everything I want. It literally, it truly was the day that I, that clicked for me and I got that and I decided to just start having fun, enjoy the process, I shifted my body state and my feeling state and, guess what happened? I know you know what happened. Everything opened up, I got results.
Steve: Exactly. What’s hard, I think for you and me, in the work that we do, like right now we know that there are hundreds or thousands of people listening to this audio and that there are a number of people who are really getting it. There are a number of people who already have it and this is just reinforcing it. There are a number of people who are really getting it, and then there are people who hear these words but to them, it’s just a cliché, enjoy the journey, it’s just a cliché. It doesn’t really mean anything to them because until you could have the experience, it doesn’t seem like a real experience.
When people were saying that to you it didn’t seem like a real thing, it just seemed like something that people said but then you had some kind of a shift and when the shift happened, you really knew what that meant. So, I invite anybody who’s being exposed to this kind of material, to consider the possibility that these aren’t just words. We’re not just talking about, what’s the word for it, like, a [Inaudible 00:43:44], a bromide. This is a real thing, it’s an actual experience of mindfulness. It’s an actual experience of being in the zone.
It’s an actual experience of enjoying the journey and if you’re not in that place, then your entire focus right now should be on how do I get to that place so these words make sense to me? How could I truly have that experience of enjoying this, being in the zone and manifesting my results effortlessly? Now, again, when I say effortlessly, I don’t mean you don’t have to work, I mean it doesn’t feel like work.
Jackie: How does goal setting fit into this?
Steve: Goal setting is premature for a lot of people. Okay, so, a lot of people will goal set before they really know themselves at a deeper level. In my book on hypnosis, I talk about the 5 steps to consciousness. The first step is knowing your essence, that’s where you learn how to meditate and do mindfulness training and how to write in a journal and be aware of yourself. That’s where you develop the mindfulness to know who you are. The second step is understanding your beliefs and your values and working with your beliefs and values, so that you end up with beliefs and values that support you that will congruent with who you really are at the deepest level. Third, you get into goal setting but most people don’t do that. Most people, they’ve got a whole bunch of goals but if you really stopped and looked at those goals, are those goals really congruent with who they are? Is it what they really want or have they been programmed to think they want it? How many people do you know, how many women do you know who’s goal is to like, lose 25 pounds and be thin like a rail? Is that really what they want or is that what society has told them they should want?
Alright, so, a lot of us are going around with goals that are not really our goals and until you gain self awareness, you’re going to be very disappointed because the universe is very smart and it tends to either not, make it very frustrating for you to get what you think you want but that you don’t really want? It makes it very frustrating and very hard or if you do somehow by sheer strength of will, get what you thought you wanted, it doesn’t give you a lot of joy. There are a lot of people who get what they want and they’re miserable. There are a lot of people with lots of money and they’re miserable.
Jackie: Yes, there are, definitely.
Steve: So, we need to, if we’re going to do goal setting, we want your goal setting to be informed by our wisdom. Gaining wisdom, I think is something that for many of us, comes much later in the process and that’s okay as long as you do it at some point. So, that’s where, I think my piece of the puzzle in this world of network marketing comes in is, I want to be the guy who brings you wisdom.
I want to be the guy who helps you understand yourself better, who helps you see when you’re stuck and helps you reveal to yourself your own blind spots and then I want to be the guy who helps you to reprogram those negative parts of yourself into positive parts so that you get to enjoy the journey and so that when you do set goals, they get, you get where you want to go and you’re glad you got there.
Jackie: Good words of wisdom. Final question before we talk about some of the cool things that you have in place that will move people in the direction they want to go, how do we deal then with the negative and unsupportive people who are in our lives who don’t, sometimes they don’t even realize it but be real from this process that we’re going through to improve ourselves.
Steve: You know how when you learn how to lift weights, you start with lightweight and then it gets heavier and heavier and heavier? Okay. Now, if we know that a very strong, very fit person can lift, can bench press 300 pounds, I’m not going to set you down on the bench Jackie and put 300 pounds on you because it would squash you like a bug. So, there’s something in this whole world of personal growth that I call necessary strength. That’s a term a friend of mine created, necessary strength and the idea is that we, among the many things that we need to learn how to be aware of, to be mindful of, is how much do I have, how much reserve do I have, how much strength do I have, in different situations? If you’ve gained lots of strength, let’s say you’ve been a network marketer for a few years and you’ve got some success under your belt and you know that you know, I’m good at this and this is a good business and even if I’m not as good as I want to be, I’ve seen, I’ve been around long enough to know this is worth pursuing and if I keep at it I’m going to get better and it and that’s cool.
Now, if I’ve reached that point and I have friends or loved ones who are not supportive, it doesn’t bother me that much because I know it in my heart. So, if I’ve got people who are not being supportive, to me that’s just annoyance, it’s like a fly buzzing around my head. It’s annoying, it’s irritating, I’d rather not have it going on but you know, it’s, but I could see past it. If you’re new in this business or at anything in life, if you’re starting out with something new and you’re around people who are unsupportive, that’s like putting 300 pound barbell on your chest when you’re not ready for it. You don’t have the necessary strength to resist their negativity.
So, in those situations, I counsel people to either avoid the people who are unsupportive or avoid the topic if you can’t avoid the people. There are topics that you just don’t bring up. You probably know people that you just don’t bring up religion around or politics around because you know that the conversation is going to go in directions that you don’t want to go in. You may love that person but you know that you disagree with them on this particular point, so you stay away from that topic. So, that’s how we handle resistance or people who kind of are nay-sayers. We try to avoid the experience of that until we’re strong enough to withstand it.
Jackie: I like that, that’s good. So often, we try to push people into seeing what we see and it’s just not going to happen until they see what we see.
Steve: Yeah, I remember I was a chiropractor for 14 years and in my chiropractic practice, at first, as anybody, you get out of school, you’ve got the education but you don’t have the experience. So, you don’t know how well you’re going to do, how well it’s going to work and back in those days in particular, chiropractic was still kind of quackery. People thought it was bull, so it was very hard for me to be around people and have those conversations because I didn’t feel the same level of confidence that I needed for those conversations.
Now, fast forward a few years, I’m in practice now a few years, I’ve successfully healed many people, I’ve saved people from the surgeon’s knife, I’ve got people back to the sports that they play, and they’re doing great and now somebody comes up to me and tells me that chiropractic is quackery, it doesn’t have any effect on me. I just laugh in their face.
Jackie: Very good. Well, you mentioned mindfulness and I know you have an assessment, so, where can the listeners go to learn more about the mindfulness assessment that you have?
Steve: Well, good question. Yeah, I would say for the relationship I create in the industry and the people that I’ve helped, it usually starts with something very quick and simple. I like to make you know some of these opportunities available to people for free, just because I want you to start thinking about the stuff we’re talking about here today. So, mindfulness as we said, is a very important part of what makes you successful and, in fact, the level of mindfulness that we have is equal to our level of success. So, we generated an assessment, kind of a scientific assessment to take a look based on the answer to a few questions.
What is your level of mindfulness? On a particular scale, where do you fit on that scale of mindfulness? Are you highly self aware? Are you kind of somewhere in the middle or are you kind of really struggling? There are certain things we look for. Someone who is very mindful tends to have a lot of very good relationships in their lives and tends to stay motivated. Somebody who’s very un-mindful tends to fight with people a lot or may have, may struggle with problems like weight or money. So, we have ways of knowing where you are on the continuum.
So, what we ask people to do is to take this basic assessment, it takes maybe ten minutes and we then, we get the results back and we have it graded, we have it scored and we send you back a customized report on what your mindfulness level is, along with some of the suggestions that we would make to help you move to a higher level. So, it’s a free assessment, it’s right on my website if you’re interested in taking the assessment, I recommend that you go on my website, which is my name stevetaubman, that’s steve, t-a-u-b-m-a-n, stevetaubman.com.
If you look at the page you get to, right there, right in the upper right hand corner of the page, there’s a place where you put in your name and email address and that will put you into the assessment and it will pop up and you’ll be, you’ll be there. Another point I want to make, Jackie, is that if you’re visiting my website for the first time, there is, I believe, a pop-up that comes up right in the front of the screen, I think it only happens the first time you go on the site, but what it is, it’s an invitation to a free series of videos that I made.
I’m really proud of them, they’re really good videos about mindfulness and, it’s, I believe four or five videos, they’re each maybe 10 or 15 minutes long. They help you understand better how to live a more mindful, self aware, life, being more present, being more happy. There’s one whole unit in there about what we talked about today, about how to shift your emotions. So, that’s just, that’s another free opportunity if you want to fill it out on the pop-up that appears.
Jackie: Awesome, very good. And then, you have a 30 day challenge that you’re doing with direct sales and network marketing teams and I’d love for you to share that with our listeners.
Steve: Great, yeah, so this is a brand new thing. For the last couple of years, I think almost, going on three years now, we’ve been, we have that product we talked about, the Un-hypnosis for direct sellers, network marketers and entrepreneurs, it’s a CD. People have been purchasing the CD for $69 and using it at home for 21 consecutive days and the products been very well reported, it was voted one of the top 25 must have products by direct selling live and lots and lots of people have been making use of it.
One thing that we never did was to create a guided process or a program, where a whole team would work together. I had this idea recently, working with a network marketing company, where I work closely with some of the leaders and we said what if we took this program, the Un-hypnosis for network marketers program and we made it available to your whole team. I think we could only cap it at like 500 people because of the, how many people we put on our line. But you know, up to 500 people on their team, but each member of the team would pay a very nominal fee.
It would be, we’re looking right now at like $39 or something like that, somewhere substantially less than the cost of the CD. So, what these people are going to get for their $39 is, they’re going to get a digital copy of the program so they could do it on their computer and they’re going to get a live training call. I do a live training call at the beginning, middle and end of the 30 day period and we’re going to set some goals together as a team and we’re going to have a way of tracking each individual person’s goals and their progress towards their goals, as they listen to the CD, as they take certain action steps, and as they hold themselves accountable to each other.
So, there’s a whole accountability part built into it. So, we’re calling it the 30 day relax, rewire and recruit challenge. At this point, I can’t, it’s not something that I could sell anybody on the call right now because we haven’t actually built it out all the way yet, but what I am looking for is, anybody who is either on a team that would really like to encourage their team leader to make this available to the whole team, or if you yourself are a team leader, to get in touch with me and we could talk about how to make this available to your team. The objective is going to be that we double recruits in 30 days.
Jackie: Well, that’s an action statement, double recruits in 30 days, who doesn’t want to do that?
Steve: Yeah, it’s going to be a fun process, because the whole way, we’re building the program on a platform that a close friend of mine has created, called, my success rocket and it’s a gamification system, which basically means you get points for learning and you get points for taking action and we’ll have prizes. It’s going to be a fun 30 days. What we’ll do is for each team that decides to do this, we’ll pick a date to start and we’ll pick a date to stop and for 30 days, everybody on that team who’s involved, hopefully, the whole team, is going to be working together and communicating with each other and listening to calls with me and breaking the barriers.
Jackie: Awesome. And what’s your website again Steve?
Steve: Again, it’s steve Taubman, so steve, t-a-u-b-m-a-n, stevetaubman.com.
Jackie: Awesome. Well, I appreciate you being here, you’ve shared some absolutely wonderful nuggets and some action steps and some real thoughts that we can take and put into action right now. I definitely encourage everybody to go take that mindfulness assessment over at your website and just wondering, do you have any final thoughts to share?
Steve: Well, just a couple quick things. One is, I forgot to mention that when you take the mindfulness assessment, you’ll get a few follow-up emails from me. One of them, I believe, offers you a discount on the cost of my book, so if you’re thinking about buying my book, don’t buy it right now, just wait until you get that email, you get $5 off on the cost of my book, so that’s a nice thing to know. Secondly, I usually like to end my talks with a couple of my favorite quotes. One of them is a quote that I made up and one of them is a quote that Goethe made up.
Goethe said “Whatever you can do or think you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” I always repeat that to myself a lot, being bold, be willing to take risks. Whatever you can do or think you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. The last one, this is my quote, and this goes back to what we’re saying about not letting your mind get in your way and remember, whenever you start getting discouraged or you start telling yourself that this isn’t working, you’re trying to talk yourself out of it, don’t believe everything you think.
Jackie: Very good, I like that. Don’t believe everything you think. Well, awesome. Steve, again, thanks so much for being here, I appreciate it and we look forward to having you back on another call.
Steve: Thanks Jackie, absolute pleasure, thanks everybody for tuning in.
Adeleke Sadeeq says
First of all I have to thank you for this great interview you had with Steve Taubman. Am so blessed listing to it as I heard a mindset shift.
Thank you so much Jackie for your thought of improving the life of people listing to your podcast and that following you.
Success is YOURS!
Jackie Ulmer says
Glad you enjoyed it! It is a good one! Thanks for your feedback!