Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Android | RSS

The Cure For the “Comparison Hangover”

Welcome to today’s podcast, and a topic you can probably relate to, if not now, at least some time in your past….

Comparing yourself to others, and then feeling down in the dumps over it.

I am pumped for today’s show because this is a question I get ALL of the time, mostly from some on my own team –

WHAT is so and so doing…how are they signing so many people up?

 

How come so and so’s team is growing so fast?

 

What are you saying exactly that gets people to join?

 

I do ALL of the same things and it just doesn’t work….

 

Admit it, you’ve done it. I’ve done it, I’m guessing most everyone has done it. Drooling over someone else’s work or success or SOMETHING and then thinking we don’t measure up. We start wishing we were just a little more like them. Right?

Am I RIGHT??!?!?

SHOW SPONSOR – DirectSalesBootcamp.com

A training program that is designed to move you past the comparison hangover; past the doubts and ugliness that can creep in. It takes you through some exercises to get to the heart of your MLM Blueprint, so you can take a look at what is real, and what is make believe.

In addition to THAT powerful piece, it also includes modules on –

Goal Setting

Setting Realistic Expectations and the timeline for success

Handling Shutdowns

Creating a mindset for success

Scheduling your success calendar

Developing your daily and weekly action plan

Creating a 30 day success story

Leadership training

Handling Objections and stopping the naysayers in their tracks

Juicy opening one liners

and more

Learn more over at DirectSalesBootcamp.com

If you are like about 99% of the human race, you know exactly what I am talking about.

You get excited, get all dressed up; you show up at the party and you totally over indulge in the

“Everyone Else’s Success” Buffet

Yes, that’s right – the Everyone Else’s Success Buffet.

You look at what other people are doing; you look at their success; you see them on the top of the Leader Boards; crossing the stage with a big check; going on VIP cruises and trips!

You get so bogged down with the mindset pitfalls,

Get out of your own head – it’s a scary place.  Because it’s in our minds that we create our own stories about experiences and perceptions.

I’m not as good as so and so…

I don’t have what it takes…

I can’t figure it out….

I should have never even started….

I’m a LOSER…..

Can you relate?

STOP, just STOP.

You are creating big stories in your head that crush your confidence, shatter your belief and bring you down.

So, on today’s pod cast, we are going to talk about what makes this happen and how to cure it – how to cure the comparison hangover and stop showing up at the Everyone Else Buffet line.

Now, about those dreaded mindset pitfalls,  They are deadly, really.

And, we have all been there with that small, annoying voice that whispers in our ear –

Who do you think you are? You aren’t as good as so and so…

How come YOU aren’t at the top level of your company?

You don’t have what it takes…

You should just stick to what you know…

Blah, blah, blah.

What you really need to do is Spend some time where life really happens. Right here, right now, where reality hangs out. What goes on in your mind is a dream…a nightmare really….and it can derail you.

Don’t let your stories turn into realities.

Here is the interesting dynamic –

It is IMPORTANT that you surround yourself with people who are successful, and in fact, more successful than you. And, it is equally as important that you appreciate what you can learn from these people and how you can be inspired. Competition is healthy.

And, NOT to fall into comparing yourself, because this is ALWAYS a no win. You will lose every time.

Most of the time, these comparisons are comparing Apples and Oranges.

We all have unique life situations.

My story – every year, I would go to my company convention; sit in the nosebleed seats and compare myself to everyone else. I would wonder what they were doing that was so right, and what I was doing that was so wrong.

Finally, when I did a personal inventory of my current life situation, I could see the glaring differences. I was a mom of a toddler and baby; I was a part time single mom, when my pilot husband was off flying. I was lucky to get one phone call made a day. I was spending an awful lot of time wallowing in self pity.

So, what is your personal life situation inventory?

I mentioned Competition – let it fuel you, It’s good and it’s powerful. It’s healthy peer pressure.
Last October, I started a serious practice of yoga; 5-7 classes a week. And, yoga is supposed to be a deeply personal experience. It’s not meant to be any kind of comparison except to yourself and what you have done and how you have improved.

But, that doesn’t always stop me from glancing at others on their mat, and asking ‘how come they can do the pretzel and I look like a praying mantis?’

Here are some things to do to use these times to your advantage.

Reframe the way you look at competition. When you see someone and start to feel a little envious, ask ask that person his/her story. Listen. TRULY listen, and absorb what they tell you and see them when they were just getting started.

What are their strategies; what do they do; how can you model what they do, and not who they are? Stop looking at others and saying – why am I not there?

Nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, to be #1, but let it drive you, instead of bring you down. If it’s not pulling out the best in you, it’s dangerous.

That becomes the comparison hangover.

You see those you aspire to be like on Twitter, Facebook (and let’s face it, everyone’s life looks larger than life on Facebook, right?)

When you begin feeling down, envious or anything besides inspired by another’s success, you are spiraling down. And, we have all been there.

So, when you feel that way, ask yourself –

How can I shift this? How can I become inspired? And, journal out some ways to do this.

What About the Critics?

As you begin to have success, you will have plenty of critics. Don’t be one of them. Which leads me to, how do you deal with the criticism of others? Well, you just kill it with kindness. Take a look at any criticism and ask yourself – is there anything I can learn from this? Be open and honest.

As far as the haters – the toxic types, just ignore. It’s a cry for help from them; and they are drowning in their own poison, honestly. I had a person in a previous company that liked to reach out to two people in my upline and constantly complain and make little digs about me. I could do nothing right for this person. the funny thing is, I had no idea this was going on, in the beginning. Until. independently, both of these upline called me to warn me about this person and let me know that it was clear that she had extreme jealously where I was concerned.

Think about it – people who aren’t in pain don’t behave that way. So let, go, bless and release and keep moving forward!

Just consider the source – my mom always said that to me. Don’t engage with the crazies. You’ll never make another see your opinion if they don’t want to.

How to Get Where You Want to BE

So, what do you need to do to get you where you want to be?

Ask yourself, Am I operating like an amateur or a Professional? Your goal is to Go Pro every day!

I encourage you to read the outstanding book – The War of Art, Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Amateurs show up every once in a while, they flake out on commitments, they get caught up in drama on Facebook; and make tons of excuses why the whole world has conspired against them to make things impossible.,

Now, who’s the pro?

Shows up on time, gets things done, takes things seriously. They don’t let something or someone else sweep their to do list off the table, to be replaced by meaningless junk.

Ask yourself –

If I were the best in the world in my business or what I’m working toward, how would I behave? How would I “show up” each day?

What would others say about you?

Are you following through? Are you keeping your word? Are you producing no matter what? IF not, you are not operating at pro level.

Decide what you are committed to pursuing.

Write out the action plan it will take to get you there.

Schedule these action steps into your calendar.

Get some accountability – tell someone your plans, ask them to hold you accountable.

If you are a perfectionist, get over it as best you can. Seriously, again, ask yourself – is this hindering me or helping me? Am I letting my perfectionism stop me from living the dream life I want, working the dream business I want?

You can’t know what you don’t know, but you can get started, learn as you go, and tweak, change and PERFECT as you go along.

And, CELEBRATE yourself along the way – even, and ESPECIALLY the tiny things! Celebration and praise feels good. Don’t be afraid to give yourself some well deserved praise. It doesn’t always need to come from the outside.

RESOURCES

Master MLM Success.com – MLM Business Mastery – Make sure you have the “skills to pay the bills” and know how to move your network marketing business forward.

The War of Art, Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Questions for the podcast? Ask them here!

Also, if you enjoyed the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review.

And, on Stitcher!

That would help immensely in getting the word out! Thanks.

<—— Did this podcast help you? If so, it would mean a lot to me if you would share it with others!!! And, share your comments below! 

Let’s have some conversation!

EXPECT Success!

Jackie Ulmer

Subscribe to Street Smart Wealth Podcast on iTunes

Subscribe to Street Smart Wealth Podcast by Email – Get Updates in Your Email

Subscribe to Street Smart Wealth Podcast by RSS 

Want more tips and trainings? Get Profit In Your PJs NOW!

If you are happy in a business, that is great. If you are looking for the right business; the right mentor; something you can build online, I would love to share what I am doing with you. Click here and let’s explore the possibilities.